God continued to talk to me through my co-workers, customers and even books I had to put on the shelves each day. Co-workers would speak the truth of who God was and how God could make good come out of the bad that happened. Customer’s would come in and talk to me about artists and songs that spoke to them, or that they loved and why. They would suggest I listen to them. Other customer’s talked to me about books they were buying. Christian Living books, which are books that help people live lives that are in line with Biblical world view. There were also books on healing from various pain and trauma. These were the books God wanted to use to heal me and fix what had been broken.

The first book that kept coming up in conversations with customers, or showing up on the book cart to re-shelve, was “The Wounded Heart” by Dan Allender. It’s a book about healing from sexual abuse. Time and time again the book would literally end up on in my hand. On a particularly slow night, I looked at it and read the back of it. There was a workbook that you could get as well. Even though I still wasn’t talking to God, it was clear, He wanted to talk to me and get me on the road to healing. I bought the book and workbook, but it would be years before I actually opened them up.

The other two books that kept coming up in conversation and showing up on my cart for shelving were by Neil T. Anderson. “Victory over Darkness”, and “ The Bondage Breaker.” These books dealt with the lies we come to believe from trauma in our lives or due to how other people treated us or things they said about us. There were pages dedicated to show you the truth from God’s word about who you are. It’s this truth that sets people free. What God says. I don’t remember when I first read them, but I bought both and I went through them multiple times to help me.

God spoke to me through these books, God said things like; “You are my child.” (John 1:12)“ You are my ‘workmanship’ (this word means poem or work of art)”(Ephesians 2:10). “You are chosen by Me, holy and dearly loved.” (Colossians 3:12, 1 Thessalonians 1:4) “You have been bought with a price: You belong to Me (God).” (1 Corinthians 6:19, 20).

“I am free from condemnation” ( Romans 8:1,2) “I am assured that all things work together for good.” ( Romans 8:28) “I cannot be separated from the love of God.: (Romans 8:35-39). “ I can find Grace and Mercy to help in time of need.” God was speaking to the wounds of my heart. I slowly began to talk to God again, but the real work for my healing, didn’t truly begin for a few more years.

I fell in love with sign language when I was in college. I never thought I would be good at it, but I so loved it. I especially loved putting sign language to songs. God used this love of sign language to bring me back to church. A church near me had a ministry for the Deaf of which I wanted to become a part of so I could learn more and have Deaf friends. It was at this same church that I got involved in a woman’s ministry and joined a Bible study called, “Lord, Heal my Hurts” by Kay Arthur.

Within a couple weeks of starting this Bible study, I had an accident at work. I was getting ready to come back from my lunch break, I was heading to the ladies room. When I turned the corner my left elbow hit my bosses cubicle and pain radiated up my arm and to my brain. I exited the office, and thought to myself, “that wasn’t funny, that really hurt.” (because the elbow is called the funny bone.) I turned to the right to open the ladies room door, and I blacked out, I fell straight down and landed with a loud pop as my head hit the tile floor.

This injury to my head had me out of work for months. I couldn’t walk with out holding on to the walls, because the world kept going round and round like a tilt a whirl. I had vertigo. I only got up out of bed or off the couch when I had to. There was only so much TV I could watch. As long as my head didn’t move, I was fine. Well, God ended up having me all to himself during this time when I could not work, I couldn’t go anywhere or so anything. It was here, when He finally got me to really dig into my hurts and face what had happened to me. I worked through and read Kay Arthur’s book.

“ Jeremiah 17:14 “ Lord, Heal my Hurts and they will be healed. Save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” It is with this study that God started my 20 year journey to healing and wholeness. I highly recommend this book by Kay Arthur for anyone in need of healing.